Metal Gear 47
by AndyHall215
Summary: Solid Snake and Agent 47 face off in a time travel adventure to assassinate Adolf Hitler. -PS: Chuck Norris is in this too.
1. Prologue

**_Secret Government Base: 2005_**

The time machine was complete. Snake looked at it. It was a black, smooth box that had a bright red digital clock on it showing the date and time. The Colonel then gave him the box.

"Be careful," said the Colonel.

"I will," Snake replied. He had been assigned to go back in time to assassinate Adolf Hitler. Doing this will lead to, hopefully, bringing peace around the world. Snake put in the coordinates. Then suddenly, a man, who was hiding in the shadows of the room, jumped out. He touched Snake as soon as the only visual thing in the room was a bright blue flash. Then, the room was empty, leaving only a worried Colonel.

**_T.I.M.E. HQ: ?_**

A siren was heard. Andrew and Sam put down their donuts and coffee and left the break room. They ran to the commissioner's office to get their assignment. The two uniformed men sat in front of the cigar addicted police chief as he greeted them.

"Good evening fellas," said the commissioner.

"Hello commissioner," said Sam.

"Now, here's the skinny: Some soldier in the year 2005 thought it was a good idea to create a time machine and go back to June 5, 1944, to assassinate the leader of the Nazi Party of that time, Adolf Hitler. In addition to that, a genetically engineered assassin tagged along with him to do the same thing. And finally, the real kicker, our responders have picked up the use of one of our older time devices in a German pub. We think it might be Him."

"Not Him," exclaimed Sam.

"We're not sure, but he's going to the same time period, so he might be doing the same thing. Your mission is to track these guys down and make sure they don't kill Hitler."

"Yes sir," said both of them in unison. They grabbed their guns, their tasers, and their coffee and got into the time car. It was black and all blocky. Sam hit a button which turned it into a 1940 Pontiac Streamliner.

"Let's do this," Sam said as he turned the ignition. In a blue flash, they were gone.

_**French Pub: Present Day**_

A hooded figure drinks a cup of very warm whiskey.

"Um, sir," asked the bartender, "are you almost done? The bar closes at eight, and I don't want to be late on the way home."

"Don't worry pal," said the figure, "I'm almost finished."

The bartender looked at the man for a second. He realizes who it is.

"Holy crap! Are you-"

"Yes," he replied in a tired but nice tone.

"Well, what are you doing in Normandy?"

"Special business."

"Well, can I have your autograph?"

"Sure thing." The bartender was ecstatic.

"Here, let me just grab my notepad." As he ran to the backroom, a group of men dressed in black leather suits came in.

"Look, fellas," said the figure, "this can go two ways. One, you walk away. Two, I walk on your face." He loved to quote his friends like that.

"We aren't scared of you," said one of the men.

click*

The hooded man pressed a button on his hand. The clock on the wall stopped. Everyone froze.

"Well," said the hooded man, "you should be."

"Alright here you-" said the bartender as he walked out and looked at the carnage that was left behind. Every one of the nine men had burning holes in their heads. Well, most were luckier to have their heads blasted off into smithereens. He was petrified but was surprised to see a napkin with the name Chuck Norris on it.

"Thanks, Mr. Norris, wherever you went! I'm gonna be late again, aren't I?"

_**Alleyway: 1944**_

Snake looked behind him to see who had touched his back. No one was there. Snake had appeared in an alleyway in Normandy, France. He walked out having a strange feeling that he was being followed.


	2. Chapter1:TheBeginning

**_French Pub: 1944_**

The room was dimly lit. The smell of freshly brewed beer could be smelled far and wide. The pub, ran by a similar-looking guy from the prologue but with a mustache, was silent with only the noise of a piano filling the room.

There was a man at the bar. His hair was handsomely slicked back. On him was a uniform carrying a black and white swastika on its arm, and a HANDLEBAR mustache presided on his top lip.

You probably thought it was Hitler for a second, didn't you? Nope.

Idiot.

This was a different Nazi. He was an officer, drinking on his break before heading back down to the bunker. He had your regular, old fashioned, German beer. The bartender smiled at him as he gave him the check.

"Your bill, sir," said the bartender.

"No," replied the officer, "I don't think I'll be paying today." He pointed to the red band on his arm, establishing to him the power he had.

"Um, yes, you will! You may be a Nazi, but you still need to..."

"Let me say this again," he clicked a gun underneath the bar, "I will not be paying today." The bartender was frightened. He hated the Nazis, but what else could he do? He was a powerless man, including those who came before and after him. He laughed it off in a worrisome manner.

"Haha, you know what, you don't have to pay! And guess what, it'll be on the house every time you come in here!"

"That's more like it." He put the gun back in his holster like a German gunslinger. He walked out of the bar and went back to work. The bartender continued with the other patrons, ashamed.

Suddenly, a blue light came from the bathroom. All that could be heard was a splash and a girlish scream. A man came running out, pants off and terrified.

"Sorry," exclaimed a voice from the bathroom. It was Chuck Norris.

He came out with only his boots being soaking wet while a few drops of water stained the edge of his long coat. The people of the bar were in total awe at the sight of him, especially at the black, rectangular device which seemed to be sewn into his glove. Chuck walked up to the bartender.

"Excuse me," he said, "do you happen to know where a Mr. Adolf Hitler might be at right now?"

The bartender pointed outside. "An officer just told me he's in his secret bunker. I'm not sure where it is…"

"I know where it is," Chuck interrupted. "Don't worry, though, I just have a few KIND words I wanna say to him."

The bartender kept on staring at him. "Are you...an angel?"

Chuck smiled. "I guess you could say that."

He walked out, ready to kill any Nazi that came his way.

**_Secret Bunker_**

"Ughhh…" cried an officer named Steve, "is he almost here yet?"

"Just be patient," replied another officer, "he should be here any minute."

"But I'm getting booooooreeeed!"

Footsteps could be heard coming down the hallway outside.

"Shhh...everyone shut up! He's coming!"

"Finally, it's about damn time!"

"Well he's a very busy man," replied Ernst Röhm, "and very dashing if I do say so myself."

"Oh can it feminazi," yelled Steve, "he's probably been spending all morning reading the news, seeing how crap the world is today just so that he can get a laugh out of other people's misery."

"Um," said an officer, "Steve."

"And that's another thing, who let him in charge?! I CERTAINLY don't remember voting for him! Hell, he's not even that great of a leader!"

"Steve."

"But y'know who does make a fine leader, though? FD-"

He was cut short of his brief political argument as a bullet blew chunks of his head across the room. The smoking gun was held by a man with slicked-back hair, a uniform with a black and white swastika on it, and a Chaplin style mustache.

No, I'm not fooling you this time.

It was Hitler.

"Now men," said the Fürher, "does anyone else want to end up like Mr. Soapbox over here?"

Everybody shook their heads no. This brought a smile to his face.

"Good." He put the gun back in its holster. "Then, let the morning briefing begin."

Adolf sat down next to Ernst as he gathered a few papers in front of him.

"Good morning Mein Führer," he said.

"Good morning Ernst. What do you have for me today?"

"Well, we found that singing family in the mountains last night. One of the sisters at a nearby cathedral ratted them out."

"Oh good, I've been wanting someone to write songs for me while I'm slaughtering innocent civilians. It's good to know that I have slaves to do that for me!"

"There is also a play you need to go see at Le Gamaar Theatre called The Beauty Of War."

"Oh, sounds intriguing. What's it about?"

"A German soldier fighting in the war. And get this, the actual soldier is playing himself in the play!"

"Ooh, sounds very narcissistic. I love it! I shall go and see it!"

"Great. There'll be a show later on tonight." Ernst puts the papers back down. "One last thing. How did your date with Eva go last night?"

Hitler blushed a little. "Oh, Eva? Well, it went pretty well. We looked at some of the mountains. Saw some people getting shot down," Ernst laughed at that part.

"Did you ask her, the question?"

"The question! Yes, of course, I asked...I mean...it was uhhh...no, I didn't ask her the question."

Hitler began to cry as Ernst held him in his arms.

"Shh, it's okay Adolf. You're a brave, strong man. You can do this! She'll definitely say yes to you! And to be honest, if I were a woman, I'd say yes a million times, jump into your arms as we spin round and round and birds start to chirp…"

Hitler was weirded out by this. "Ok, Ernst that's enough."

"All I mean is, she'll say yes. And even if she doesn't say yes," he put his and on his shoulder, "you're freaking Adolf Hitler! You can always just force her to marry you."

"Oh, you're right, Ernst!" He wiped a tear from his eye. "I'm sorry, I keep on forgetting that I'm the most powerful dictator in the world." He turned to the officers sitting next to him. "Aren't I the world's GREATEST dictator?"

"You are wonderful," said officer one.

"You're stupendous," said officer two.

"I still think that democracy is a better rou-" gurgled Steve being interrupted by Hitler's gun yet again.

"Thanks, everybody," replied Hitler. "Y'know what? I'll go and talk to her right now!"

"That's the spirit Mein Fürher," stated Ernst. "Now go and claim your bride, you handsome devil!"

Hitler ran out of the room and towards the living room of the bunker.

"I don't even care if that was the shortest briefing we've ever had," said Ernst, "I'm really happy for him!"

**_French Pub_**

The pub quieted back down after what had happened earlier. People were drinking beer, singing songs, and the bartender was content as he poured brew after brew for everyone there. He smiled at every customer who came in and out. But, a rag came across his face. His sense of smell suddenly disappeared as he started to suffocate. The man slowly fell to the ground as a suited man with a strange barcode on the back of his head held him.

"Shhh…," said the man as the bartender passed out.

A few minutes passed, and Snake walked in, feeling a bit thirsty for a pint. He sat down at the bar.

"Excuse me," said Snake to the bartender, "I'll have some beer."

"Alright," replied the bartender. He poured some beer out from the tap. It was fizzy and golden like a Bud Light commercial.

"Here you go, sir," he said as he gave him the glass.

"Thanks. I needed this right now."

He chugged down half the pint.

"My goodness! You're rather parched, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I just arrived here and I was feeling a little thirsty."

"Is there something on your mind right now?" Snake thought about telling him for a second but then decided on telling him the half-truth.

"Well, I traveled here all the way from America on an assignment and I'm quite tired. Plus, the assignment is a little bit stressful. So yeah, I guess I do have a lot on my mind right now."

"Well, what if someone else did your job for you?"

Snake laughed, "No, no, this work is very official. My boss can't have a random stranger working on the job."

"Are you sure? Because I think I'd be willing to take over."

A click was heard under the table. Snake became a bit suspicious of the bartender. He had very stiff mannerisms, and barely any emotion. He, or whatever it was, was almost like a robot.

"I'm sorry," repeated Snake, "but I can't have you working on this job."

"Are you sure about that?"

There was a brief moment of silence lasting for about 11 seconds between the two men. They stared each other down, menacingly. Then, out of nowhere, Snake flipped out of his seat as a bullet went through the wall of the bar. It missed him, only shattering a drink in a man's hand. The people in the pub filed out as the gunfight quickly ensued.

Snake hid behind a table while the false bartender still hid behind the bar. They both began shooting at each other, each one taking their own time to not get shot. A few bullets would come from the left of the pub while some more came from the right. Snake reloaded his pistol and went back to shooting the mysterious man only to get grazed by a bullet on his left arm. He winced as blood came oozing out of the small wound.

The bartender walked over, ready to attack. He looked behind the table and saw that no one was there.

SMASH!

A bottle came across the back of his head. Snake felt very accomplished. But the man wiped the glass shards off his bald head like they were nothing. Snake pissed his pants.

He ran out of the bar with the other man running after him.

As soon as they exited, Sam and Andy walked into the pub, not knowing what the hell just happened.

"What the hell just happened," asked Andy.

"I'm not entirely sure," replied Sam. "I guess there was a huge bar fight in here or something."

"Makes sense."

Sam went behind the empty bar and got himself a beer.

"Hey Andy," asked Sam, "wanna beer?"

"I guess so," Andy replied.

Sam grabbed a glass from the cabinet behind him, not noticing the unconscious man mumbling gibberish inside. He poured both of them a glass. They both drank a few sips as Sam pulled the T.I.M.E. folders out.

"So," he said, "Chuck is trying to kill Adolf Hitler. Who knew he'd try and do that?"

"Yeah," said Andy, "I still think it's pretty cool that THE Chuck Norris was a T.I.M.E. officer!"

"Well, he was pretty cool at the beginning! He followed every order, went through each mission with perfect stealth and charisma. He was the greatest officer we ever had at T.I.M.E.!"

He began to cry as he recollected his memories of him.

"He was even a good mentor and an amazing friend."

Sam wiped away the tears.

"But he eventually went rogue. He took as many devices and weapons that he could and ran out. There have been a few people who had been able to catch him. Some caught him for a few seconds only for him to escape their grasp. Some have even locked him up in a cell at H.Q. only for him to break out again."

He slammed his glass down on the bar.

"But we aren't going to be the next ones to lose him. This game of roadrunner has gone on for FAR too long. Even if it kills us, we will find him, we will capture him, and we will make him pay for his crimes."

"What about these other guys," Andy asked.

Sam looked down at the other folders. "Oh yeah, them too." He saw the small images attached to the folders. The two men looked a bit familiar for some reason.

"Hey, Andy," said Sam, "what did those guys who just ran out of the bar look like?"

"Well," he replied, "one of them was a soldier with a ripped bandanna on his head, and the other was a well-dressed man with a barcode on the back of his..."

He looked at the pictures and suddenly recognized that they had the same description as the guys he was just talking about.

"OH CRAP," they both yelled in unison.

They ran outside and saw the two men were just about to go around the corner.

It was a very long street.

"Let's get 'em," yelled Sam.

Sam ran to the perpetrators with Andy following behind him.

"Stop," Sam yelled, "you are under arrest! Put your time machine down and your hands where we can see them!"

"Slow down," said Andy, panting, "my lungs...are...slowly dying!"

The bartender, who I'll just call 47 now, had finally caught up to Snake.

"I'm sorry Snake," he said, "but I have to get you out of the way in order for this to work." But before he could pull out his gun, Sam grabbed him by the arm and cuffed him.

"You're both under arrest," he stated, "for violation of law 4-20 of T.I.M.E. Law which states that no person should go back in the past to kill Adolf Hitler. Doing so results in 500 years in T.I.M.E. Penitentiary."

"500 years," asked Snake, "that seems a bit excessive!"

"Oh don't worry, we keep you the same age. That way it'll be even more like hell on Earth, or wherever the jail is located!"

He looks behind him and sees that Andy is still dragging behind.

"Come on, Andy," yelled Sam, "they aren't gonna wait for us to arrest them!"

"Hold on, Sam," replied Andy, "lungs...are...stretched out...balloons!" He passed out on the ground as Snake got away.

"Idiot," said Sam as he cocked his pistol. Bullets flew from the gun and into stop signs and car windows.

Snake was confused, not knowing what the hell was going on.

"Get back here," yelled Sam.

"You can't make me," yelled Snake.

They both ran and ran until Sam passed by an alleyway. He stopped right there. He thought that he saw, Him.

And sure enough, there was Chuck, sitting down next to a dumpster eating unscrambled eggs. He forgot all about Snake and transfixed his thoughts on Him.

"You," stated Sam in an angered tone.

"You," said Chuck as he began to smile like an old friend at a high school reunion.

"You just had to show your ass here didn't you?"

"Yeah, and I think the Nazis deserve to get a slice of it!"

There was a hesitation of silence.

"That was a really stupid one-liner, Chuck," said Sam.

"I know," replied Chuck, "I couldn't come up with anything better!"

"Well, here's a punch line," yelled Sam as he started to fill Chuck with lead. Unfortunately, he was out of bullets.

"CRAP," exclaimed Sam.

"Well thank God the Commissioner is still cheap as hell with his bullets!"

"The extra round is on me somewhere. And don't you DARE talk about the Commissioner like that! He is a brave and heroic leader!"

"Oh," said Chuck sarcastically, "you mean the same 'heroic' leader that caused 9/11!"

"He was very nervous about it!"

"Oh please! He told those guys to fly into the towers right when the flight attendant became suspicious!"

"He had a memorial service afterward!"

"That 'memorial service' was a party where he served champagne, played September by Earth, Wind, and Fire, and hung a banner that read 'WE DID IT!'."

"That's it," said Sam. He threw three punches at Chuck as He dodged them smoothly.

"You wanna play rough, do ya," asked Chuck, pressing the button on his glove. But nothing happened. He saw a bird fly overhead. Time didn't freeze.

"You forgot to get fuel didn't you?"

Chuck sighed, "Yeah. I was gonna go by H.Q. earlier this morning to steal it but I forgot."

"Good, I didn't want a short cut."

They both get into fighting position. Chuck delivers the first punch to Sam's side. Sam fell on the ground, wincing at the pain. He got back up and began throwing punches all over the place. He at least wanted to knock Him out. But it was no use, every punch or kick he threw, Chuck was always two steps ahead. After dodging several punches to the head and kicks to the crotch, Chuck kicked Sam in the head and punched him in the crotch. He fell back down to the ground. The defenseless police officer went to his walkie talkie for help.

"Andy," he said, "I need back up, He's here!"

"Hold on," Andy said while gasping for air, "still...catching…breath!"

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!"

Chuck walked up to him, Sam began to quiver in fear. He didn't know what was gonna happen to him now that he's in the powerfully violent hands of Chuck Norris. Chuck reached his hand out. Sam closed his eyes, knowing it was over for him.

"Sam," He said, "I want you to come and work with me!"

He opened his eyes back up. His palm was open in a friendly manner.

"What?"

"Well, if you didn't already know, I've become a time bounty hunter, not affiliated with T.I.M.E. Hitler is on my employer's hit list which is the reason I've come all the way back here."

"Who's your employer?"

"He's this crime lord that hired me. Like he's not evil or anything, he just wants to mount Hitler's head over his fireplace."

"Wait, where have you been all these years!?"

"I'll tell you later," he replied, worried that he might make him a bit too emotional for the rest of the mission. "Just take my hand and join me! It'll be like old times, except the only people we'll be murdering are the bad guys!"

Andy could still be heard wheezing over the walkie talkie.

"And your new partner can come along too," he said, "I sure would like to meet him! So what do you say?"

Sam looked at Chuck's open palm. They hadn't been friends for several years, and yet Chuck still wants to partner up with him? He couldn't believe it. After all these years, he finally has a chance to be with Him. But, he remembered all of the generations of Griffiths before him. How none of them ever backed down from their positions. Even his father before him started to have second thoughts, but he carried on with his duties. He worked hard until his dying breath.

So he did the one thing he knew he should do.

"Chuck," he said, "I'm sorry, but I must not go with you. It's my birthright to be in this position."

Chuck's smile faded. "But Sam…"

"NO BUTS," he yelled as he quickly stood up and backed off the sidewalk. He finally found the extra round of bullets. "I'm taking you in!"

"Sam please," cried Chuck, "you don't have to do this."

"Oh yeah, watch me! I'll finally be the one to take in Chuck Norris the Traitor! Or my name isn't Samson Robert Griff-"

He was cut short by a car which nearly ran him over, only sending him flying across the street. A man in the truck was throwing flyers to citizens on the sidewalk. The flyers stated:

Beauty Is Greater Than Peace

The Beauty Of War

Starring Christoph Schulte as Himself

Premieres June 5th at 8 p.m.

**HITLER WILL BE THERE!**

Chuck's eyes brightened. He didn't know it would be this easy! Though, he didn't want to leave Sam whose skeleton is possibly smashed to smithereens right now. But he knew that it was too late for him. Seeing Sam's reaction, He knew he couldn't handle the pressure of having T.I.M.E. watch his every move every waking day of his life waiting to pounce on him any minute. He sighed as he ran off down the street, did a somersault over Sam's body, and turned the corner with a leap.

Sam eventually got up, with only his left leg possibly being broken. T.I.M.E. Officers are really tough.

"Dammit," he screamed before looking down at the flyer. He knew exactly where Chuck was heading next.

"Hey Andy," he said to his walkie talkie, "get off the ground. We've got a play to see."

"Alright," replied Andy, "by the way, I blacked out for about three minutes and the hitman got away."

Sam slowly breathed in, letting the air fill his lungs so he could scream in anguish.

The same truck came by both Snake and 47. Both of them were ready to put an end to Hitler's reign of terror and change their lives for the better.

_**Living Room Of Secret Bunker**_

Eva was putting on her favorite pearl necklace. She loved the way it shimmered and shined against the lights of the room. She was happy and content with her Nazi lifestyle. She gets to live like royalty, her country is one of the strongest in the world, and her boyfriend, Hitler, is the greatest guy to ever live. Eva then looked down at a ladybug crawling on the floor. Oh, how beautiful of a ladybug. It had black spots on its red wings, and it was crawling in a circle. But, sadly, Hitler walked in and accidentally stepped on it. He saw the guts of the creature and rubbed his shoe on the carpet in disgust.

"Gross," said Hitler.

"Oh," said Eva, still thinking about the bug, "hello Hitler."

"Hello, Eva! Do you remember last night's date?"

"Oh yes, it was very wonderful! I loved every dish!"

"Well, I was going to ask you something, but I was too nervous to tell you."

"Oh, Adolf. You know you can ask me anything."

"But this isn't that easy of a question to ask."

He begins to blush as he gets down on one knee.

"Eva Braun, you have been my greatest love for the longest time. Y'know, besides killing the Jews. And I've decided...I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So, will you, Eva, make me the happiest dictator in all of the world," he pulls out the ring, "and marry me!"

Eva was surprised. She had been imagining this moment for years now. And now, it's finally here. The big question, will she or will she not. This is the choice that will dictate the rest of her life.

But, she recently started feeling differently about living with Adolf Hitler. She of course loves him with all her heart, but the way he acts like he didn't just kill thousands of people just a few hours ago and wears a happy smile on his face. It was almost disturbing to think about. She wanted to say no right then and there, but what choice did she have? Live her life with Adolf, or suffer the consequences.

She had been staring off for a minute now, and Hitler was getting a bit impatient.

"So," said Hitler, "are you going to answer?"

"Umm." Eva wasn't sure what to do, so she turned to the only option she could think of.

"Hitler," she said, "...yes, I WILL marry you!"

Hitler was ecstatic about her response.

"HOORAY," he shouted as he hugged her to death. "This is so exciting! I've been wanting to ask you for so long. Thank goodness it's finally off my chest!"

He pulls out a flyer.

"Now Eva," he said, "I have the perfect idea for a night out." He gives her the flyer. "They're showing a new film at Le Gamaar Theatre entitled, The Beauty Of War. And WE will be the guest of honor! Won't that be fantastic!"

She painted a smile on her face. "Yes, it is wonderful!"

"Good, I'll go and tell the boys in the meeting room. We're finally getting married!"

Hitler ran out of the room, leaving only Eva behind. Then, out of nowhere, she began to cry alone on the couch, wondering what life has in store for her.

To be continued in...

**_Chapter 2: The Middle_**


	3. Back in TIME

_Put, the gun down._

_I can't believe this! After what we've been through, you betray your partner like this!_

_Please, you have to trust me. I'm still your friend._

_No, you're an enemy against T.I.M.E.! You have to be eliminated. _

_What I'm doing is right, T.I.M.E. is the real villain here!_

_How dare you? T.I.M.E. is the law!_

_No, you're just too blind to see. _

_I'm not blind. You're a criminal, a high-class one as well. So I need to follow my orders or else I'll be the next head on death row._

_What would Sam think?_

_._

_._

_._

_You dare bring Sam into this?_

_Let me just-_

_YOU DARE BRING SAM INTO THIS!?_

_All I'm saying is that you need to think about what he-_

_THAT'S IT! *click* YOU'RE DEAD TO ME!_

_Please, don't pull the trigger! For Sam!_

_SCREW YOU!_

_*BOOM*_


End file.
